:: The Caffee children were taken to be spoiled and coddled at Granny's house.
:: The mama and daddy are to stay at home ALONE.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
:: The Caffee children were taken to be spoiled and coddled at Granny's house.
Friday, January 29, 2010
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
View B is a skirt that is slightly A-line instead of gathered. Molly likes it so much that she's already begging to wear it Sunday to church, that's a really good sign! It sort of reminds me of the shirtwaist dresses that I've read about in my Grace Livingston Hill novels. In dressy fabric it could be quite elegant, no?
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Monday, January 25, 2010
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Just moments ago we woke suddenly to loud thunder and lightning. Maddie was stirring so I scooped her up and kissed her sleepy little face, she put her tiny arms around me and squeezed....then, with a sleepy voice she said "When I sleep with my Sissy, she holds me and kisses me too, and I kiss her back." "Really?" I said "Why?" asking just to hear her little voice again "Because we love ashother!" she said with a sleepy smile "Because why?" I asked, again, this time just to hear that word again “Because we love ashother!” she repeated “Well what about Mama?” I questioned as I kissed her again “We love ashother too!” she answered with a smile, that I could hear in her tiny voice.
Thinking about it now I'm almost sad.....Why do they have to grow up and learn to say things right?! I may never get to hear that little made up word again, or I may get to hear it for only another week or so, but I already miss it. Before long she will be saying all of the right things….I guess that’s why I came straight here to write it all down, before it was gone forever! And then the thought of Molly being so motherly toward her while I’m not there just melted me. It reminded me of when I used to take care of Rae, my baby sister. Why are children always in such a hurry to grow up and mamas always wishing it would all last a little longer? Well, I know one thing! I won’t waste a minute! I’ll steal as many kisses and little moments as I can, “because we love ashother”……
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
That was the feeling we all had as our social worker walked out of our house today! Not that she is scary or anything, but it's just knowing that our homestudy is FINALLY DONE!!!!!! Oh my goodness! This is our first big hurdle and we have done it! This is so huge! Oh my heart, I can't even explain how bad I want to squeeze our little Bulgarian babies right now!!! I keep dreaming of the day that I get to walk into an orphanage on the other side of the world and kiss, for the first time, my sweet children that God handpicked for us.....I try to imagine how it's going to feel for us to be together after all of this time. How will it feel for ALL of my children to be in one room and to not feel like someone is missing? Oh I can't wait!!! I just wish I could call out "Mama's coming!" and they would hear it and know that we are working hard to get to them.
Oh friends, could you pray with us? You are like our family here. Could you pray that everything keeps going smoothly for us and that our sweet children are being taken care of while they wait? Thank you friends!
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
PS. Market was wonderful, but I totally forgot to get pictures so I'm going to see if I can scrounge a few up from some of the other pattern designers. Bummer, I know, I realized I didn't have any pictures when we started tearing down the booth.
Monday, January 11, 2010
....when some people can't play nice it ruins the game for everyone. I really should be in bed because we had a really long (but wonderful) day at market, but instead I am awake trying to delete inappropriate comments left here by heartless spammers (I say heartless because if your children or mine were to read the disgusting things left by these people I would be absolutely heart broken), so I will have to leave the comment moderation on. I'm sorry, I know it makes it harder for us to communicate, but to protect this family friendly environment I have no choice. I am furious! Please forgive me if you had to read any ugly comments. I'm sorry, and I promise to do all I can to keep it from happening again.
I wanted to thank you all for understanding the comment moderation rant. Just to be clear (because a couple of sweet blog friends called to make sure I was OK), it wasn't a bad comment directed at me, it was some crazy person leaving filthy advertisements in my comment section. Very frustrating.
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
That's kinda what this post is about...the closing of doors and then the opening of windows...
As you all know we had another "door" slammed shut (that's how it felt......like I was sitting there peaceful reading a book in the quiet and then I was startled by a slamming door) in November. I have to admit, I have not been as open this time as I have been in the past, not with anyone, even myself. It feels like my heart has been scarred and now it's harder to get things "in" or "out" than ever. I hope this doesn't disappoint anyone, but I haven't wanted to talk about it at all, I have distanced myself from that pain that seems to come over and over because I'm tired of feeling it all the time. My survival tactics have changed from "say what you feel and get it all out" to "just try not to think about it and maybe it will all go away". I don't really know if it's wrong or right, it's just the way that I'm able to cope, but I have felt guilty about it.....because I know that my family and friends have wondered what in the world is going on, and I know that other hurting mama's have been comforted by my openness in the past. On top of it all we were at a dead end with our adoption, we didn't have enough money to go to the next level and it didn't look like there was any way to make the money either...I was just so discouraged at every turn. I started questioning God... "Why do you even give me children just to take them away? And why would you lay these future children on our hearts if we have no money to get them home?".....
The window starts to open:
While I was still in the miscarriage fog God sent Georgeann to help. Georgeann, is a friend of Ben's who works for the same city where he is a firefighter, and she wanted to help us by raising money. I have only met her once in passing at our last show, but I was so touched by her generosity. She hand painted picture frames and sold them at a holiday craft show to help us! With the money she raised we were able to get to the next step in our homestudy.
Then there was another dead end, we thought of how we could cut corners here at home (that's when the laundry soap discovery was made), how Ben could work extra when there was extra work (there's not much of that these days), we thought and thought, but nothing. In fact it seemed like we weren't getting ahead at all!
On the Sunday after Christmas our pastor asked one of our Elders, David, to come forward and take prayer requests. We were going to pray, as a church, for everyone mentioned. David stood at the front and took requests from person after person, even the sweet children....I thought about asking for God to provide the money we needed for the adoption, but then I shrank from it, thinking about how I may get emotional just saying those words and how open I would be there with everyone looking....and Ben was working so I didn't have the security of him being at my side....so I just sat there and listened. Just then, when I thought my time was up, I heard myself blurt out with a shaky voice "We need money. Money is the only thing keeping us from bringing our children home from Bulgaria, and we need God to send the money." I couldn't believe I said it. Luckily I was sitting on the front row so no one but David and my dad (who was standing next to him) could see all of the tears welled up in my eyes and streaming down my red face. I hate to cry in front of people, it's been years since anyone but my husband and children have seen me cry.
That night I was getting the fire going from being gone all day when the phone rang, it was my mom. She said "Sam, I've been wracking my brain all day to think of how we can come up with some money, and I just found it! I don't know what made me think of it, but I've just remembered that a few years back I opened an account for each of the kids and every month they take a little money out of my check for them. I forgot it was even there and I'm not sure how much money is, but it should be a good bit by now. The accounts were for the kids to spend on anything they wanted so if they want to spend it on the adoption they can! Talk to the kids and if that's what they want to do I'll go and get the money tomorrow!"
I called Ben to ask how much money we needed to get into next step (with the main adoption agency that works with Bulgaria) and he told me that we needed an application fee that we had the money for and then $2700 after we are approved. Then I told him about mom and he explained how relieved he was to finally see a light at the end of the tunnel. Next I talked to the kids. I said "Molly, I have some good news, Nana found some money that she had put away for you and Tim and Maddie. It's a good bit of money that could get us closer to getting our brothers and sisters home (that's what we call our kids at home)..." Before I could even finish the sentence Molly jumped up and said "Mom we need that money!".....I explained "Molly, this money is really yours, and yours Tim and Maddie. Are you sure that this is what you want to do with your money?" They all jumped up and down and shouted "Yes! Yes! Yes! We want our brothers and sisters home!"
The next morning Mom and Dad knocked on the door and came in while I was cooking breakfast, moments later each of the children brought me a bundle of money from their own account equalling $2700. The window is open and the most refreshing breeze is blowing in...
He shut the door and then He opened the window, He didn't forsake me. And now, even though I have not been open about the pain, I can share the testimony. I know we have a long way to go, and thousands more dollars to raise, but I know He will light the path one little step at a time. I hope this testimony can encourage someone today.
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Maddie: "You're a good mama"
Me: "Am I?"
Maddie: "A gooder and gooder mama....cause you don't beat us or nothin"
I got to thinking after that about all of the silly things we say as a family, that only we understand, and thought about how sweet it is that we have our own little language. I'm sure every family does. You see, I say "I'm gunna beat you!" about 100 times a day when they are being too cute, obnoxious, silly, or when they spray me with the old rubber band around the sprayer trick AGAIN (one of these days I'm gunna learn to look at that sprayer before I turn the stinkin water on!). When they are just looking extra cute (like she is here in this "Maddie made get-up") and they are in danger of being smothered in mama kisses I usually say "I can't even stand you right now!". Then there are the times that I'm sitting and I realize that nobody is sitting on me (I hate that feeling), I say "Who's my brat?" or "Poor ole mama" and they will race each other to get to me because they know exactly what it means.....mama's lap is empty and if I hurry I can get the best spot! If I say "I need my favorite" Tim brings me my favorite quilt and he covers me up with it and he usually says "poor baby, mama was cold...it's OK baby, I got you your favorite". We all say "tender" instead of pretend because Molly did that when she was little, here's an example: "Mom is that real or just tender?" We also say snickle instead of snuggle...